Of Brutes and Brutuses.

Julius Ceaser apparently said "Et tu Brutus" before dying. From then on, i beleive, the expression is used to signify backstabbing and betreyal especially by close and trusted friends.

Something weird has happened to my head offlate. I have been getting headaches too often in the last 2 months. And a visit to the doctor got me into Vijaya diagnostic centre for a CT scan. I lied down on a platform and i was sent into some machine and 10 mins later we were done. The report said everything was normal with me. Doctor said that i was thinking too much!!! Apparently thinking is bad for my health. My parents heaved a huge sigh of relief. They feared it might be a brain tumour or something. I was kinda dissappointed. I felt like my thunder was stolen. Imagine the number of things that i could have got done from people by using senti. Saying this was maybe the last thing that i will be requesting from them!!

Anyways i think the CT scan has left a lasting impression on me. The radiation they used to map my brain, i think, has messed up my grey matter. Weird thoughts and weirder ideas are filling my head ever since. For example consider the starting para. There is no reason why i put it there. People would think i was betreyed or something. Let me assure you no such thing has happened. In fact using the word "betrayed" itself is weird.

Coming to think of it i am sure my brain is messed up. I feel like (as Upamanyu Chatterjee said) there are people sticking their penises into my head,through the ears and nose(NOT mouth), and climaxing there and mixing their semen with my brain matter. That is a good way to mess up a brain.

I am also feeling weird about myself. I am feeling like a used condom. Used and cast aside. No. Actually i am feeling like a condom that has been used repeatedly till torn and then cast aside. An unavoidable necessity in an otherwise pleasurable experience. I feel like my skin is burning on my bones. I feel like i need a fire catharsis.

To conclude here are the lyrics of a song i like very much. I find new meaning to the lyrics each time i listen to the song.

Time by Pink Floyd.

Ticking away the moments that make up a dull day
You fritter and waste the hours in an offhand way.
Kicking around on a piece of ground in your home town
Waiting for someone or something to show you the way.

Tired of lying in the sunshine staying home to watch the rain.
You are young and life is long and there is time to kill today.
And then one day you find ten years have got behind you.
No one told you when to run, you missed the starting gun.

So you run and you run to catch up with the sun but it's sinking
Racing around to come up behind you again.
The sun is the same in a relative way but you're older,
Shorter of breath and one day closer to death.

Every year is getting shorter never seem to find the time.
Plans that either come to naught or half a page of scribbled lines
Hanging on in quiet desperation is the English way
The time is gone, the song is over,
Thought I'd something more to say.


I just love the lyrics.

P.S: i am thinking of changing the title of this post to " Of brutes, brutuses and bitches.