???

I have had a shitty day.

Gymming helps you to vent out your frustrations. With this noble thought in mind i go to the Gym and the song playing there is

Ab to ghar aa ja Saajan. Buhut dher kar di. (or something to that effect)

I cant be bothered to translate and listening to the song i am like
aaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrgggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhh.

Here is another song that i like which for no reason whatsoever i am quoting here.

I will never bother you
I will never promise to
I will never follow you
I will never bother you

Never speak a word again
I will crawl away for good

I will move away from here
You wont be afraid of fear
No thought was put into this
I always knew it would come to this

Things have never been so swell
I have never failed to fail
Pain
You know you're right

I'm so warm and calm inside
I no longer have to hide
Lets talk about someone else
Steaming soup begins to melt

Nothing really bothers her
She just wants to love herself

I will move away from here
You wont be afraid of fear
No thought was put into this
I always knew it would come to this

Things have never been so swell
I have never felt this real

Pain
You know you're right
Pain

This song is by Nirvana. Which is the title of my previous post. Coincidence???

There is a wound on my leg. Whenever i wear trousers (to go to classes. otherwise i am in shorts or butt naked) it rubs against the wound and causes PAIN. There is this friend of mine who pointed out the other day that flies were feeding on the pus oozing out of the wound. Now the problem in life is whether i should construe his observation as a funny comment on my pathetic state or a show of concern on his part. hhmmm interesting?

Another friend of mine has come up with this interesting theory of the Zeroth night. Thermodynamics apparently has 3 laws it seems. (Dont bother to correct me if i am wrong). They are called the First, Second and Zeroth laws instead of First, Second and Third laws. The reason for this is that the Zeroth law was discovered(or invented?) after the First and Second laws and since the Zeroth law was more fundamental and basic in content it could not be named Third law which would imply that it follows the First and Second laws.

So applying this mammoth logic and analogy my friend has called the night before the "first night" as the Zeroth Night.

Now for those uninitiated in the subtle naunces of Indian cliches, First night is the night when the Married couple first have sex. Or to put it more aptly they "make love".

And i actually laughed. Through the pain. Because i am still wearing the trousers. Maybe i should change into shorts. Butt naked maybe...

Nirvana.

I have realised

-that life is more of a bollywood movie than a hollywood movie.

-that i am a normal sentimental idiotic human being like everyone else as opposed to the completely rational and logical superhero that i always thought i was.

-that the rules in life keep changing and you need to change accordingly. Otherwise you get left behind.

-that in the end it dosent even matter. In the end you are all alone. There are milestones and there are milesotnes. But they are exactly that. Just milestones. you got to move on and make the most of what is left with you.

That is probably why they are called milestones. You leave them behind and move onto the next milestone.

Of Brutes and Brutuses.

Julius Ceaser apparently said "Et tu Brutus" before dying. From then on, i beleive, the expression is used to signify backstabbing and betreyal especially by close and trusted friends.

Something weird has happened to my head offlate. I have been getting headaches too often in the last 2 months. And a visit to the doctor got me into Vijaya diagnostic centre for a CT scan. I lied down on a platform and i was sent into some machine and 10 mins later we were done. The report said everything was normal with me. Doctor said that i was thinking too much!!! Apparently thinking is bad for my health. My parents heaved a huge sigh of relief. They feared it might be a brain tumour or something. I was kinda dissappointed. I felt like my thunder was stolen. Imagine the number of things that i could have got done from people by using senti. Saying this was maybe the last thing that i will be requesting from them!!

Anyways i think the CT scan has left a lasting impression on me. The radiation they used to map my brain, i think, has messed up my grey matter. Weird thoughts and weirder ideas are filling my head ever since. For example consider the starting para. There is no reason why i put it there. People would think i was betreyed or something. Let me assure you no such thing has happened. In fact using the word "betrayed" itself is weird.

Coming to think of it i am sure my brain is messed up. I feel like (as Upamanyu Chatterjee said) there are people sticking their penises into my head,through the ears and nose(NOT mouth), and climaxing there and mixing their semen with my brain matter. That is a good way to mess up a brain.

I am also feeling weird about myself. I am feeling like a used condom. Used and cast aside. No. Actually i am feeling like a condom that has been used repeatedly till torn and then cast aside. An unavoidable necessity in an otherwise pleasurable experience. I feel like my skin is burning on my bones. I feel like i need a fire catharsis.

To conclude here are the lyrics of a song i like very much. I find new meaning to the lyrics each time i listen to the song.

Time by Pink Floyd.

Ticking away the moments that make up a dull day
You fritter and waste the hours in an offhand way.
Kicking around on a piece of ground in your home town
Waiting for someone or something to show you the way.

Tired of lying in the sunshine staying home to watch the rain.
You are young and life is long and there is time to kill today.
And then one day you find ten years have got behind you.
No one told you when to run, you missed the starting gun.

So you run and you run to catch up with the sun but it's sinking
Racing around to come up behind you again.
The sun is the same in a relative way but you're older,
Shorter of breath and one day closer to death.

Every year is getting shorter never seem to find the time.
Plans that either come to naught or half a page of scribbled lines
Hanging on in quiet desperation is the English way
The time is gone, the song is over,
Thought I'd something more to say.


I just love the lyrics.

P.S: i am thinking of changing the title of this post to " Of brutes, brutuses and bitches.

Life is Unfair!!!

You hear a lot of people cribbing about the injustice life metes out to them. That is stupid. To blame something as vague as "life" for what are essentially your mistakes is being idiotic to the highest degree and greatest power(yeah..i copied that from Flavours).

Life is actually very very fair. I cant stress this point enough. Well i actually can but i dont want to. Life is the fairest thing there ever is. Everybody gets what he/she deserves.

So people, can the crap like "life is unfair".